Life.

You cut me down.
Every time I think I can be more,
You hack me off at the knees.
I lie here before you,
A bleeding, blooded mess
Because you will not alow me to be more.
I jump,
A grotesque,
A shadow play,
But you always drag me back.
Why won't you just let me be?

Prozac.

My bitter pill
How I love you.
You are at the very heart of me.
You complete me,
Make me whole.
"It is in Prozac we trust!"
I miss you
And your gentle,
Calming ways.
The false euphoria,
The puppet's grin.
Come back my bitter pill.
All is forgiven.

The Truth of Friendship.

You are the gash,
The red slash across my heart.
You are the first,
And last,
Knife in my back.
You are love promise
Beyond fullfilment.
I know you.
The more I look,
The more I see.
The more I see,
The more I know.
The more I know,
The less I understand.
What ever happened to the truth of friendship?

I wish.

I wish you knew me,
Truely and with out reserve.
I wish you could trust
That you could tell me,
And I wouldn't be hurt.
I wish that you had the courage
Of your convictions,
I wish you were able to face me
In open warfare.
I wish I didn't have this image
Of being unstable
And unable
To cope.
I wish you had the faith
In me
To know that I love you
And trust you and I would do nothing to jepordise our friendship.
I just wish.

You never truely loved me.

Words fail me,
I'm left in silence.
In your lies,
Dressed as sweet promises,
I saw the earth.
But you are like all the rest,
Betrayer,
Betrayed.
I saw the world
Lost in flames,
Because you never truely loved me.

Strange Voodoo.

You slay me with your wicked ways,
Your evil eye penertrates to the very heart of me.
Hexed I lie bleeding in your arms,
A demented sort of sanctuary.
In your strange voodoo
I find my peace,
Your magnetic witch craft is all of me.
I ask for nothing,
Yet you give me your pain.
Don't I have to carry enough of my own?

On silver Mountian.

The girl a top silver mountain
Waits for her lover,
But her lover will never come.
His bones lie shattered,
And broken,
Deep on the valley floor.
How valiantly he fought for her,
Only to be toppled,
His bones picked clean by carrion,
His smile
A bleached, rictus grin.
She still waits for lover
A top silver mountain,
And counts each day that passesa blessing,
Because she know they will be reunited,
One day soon.

The writer.

Notebook on notebook,
Page by page,
I live in a world,
One with out age.
The words form in my brain,
I write them down,
I tell the story,
Of the Princess and the clown
Of tears and sadness,
Of hearts longing to be filled,
Of war and senselesness,
Preciaous blood as it is spilled,
Stories of hope,
Stories of fears,
Stories that will make you
Shed a tear.
I am a word smith
It's story I fasion,
Telling life tales
Is my joy
And my passion.

Dancers.

You catch my breath
In the palm of your hand
And hold it in your heart forever.
Every joyful beat,
As the rusty organ pulses to life,
Is yours.
You have awoken something in me
That is beyond words,
Beyond speaking.
We are treasured,
You and I,
The pied pipers that set the tune.
We dance because we know we can,
Uffertered by convention
And by life.
We dance in the sunshine,
We dance in the dark,
We dance becaused we are beloved.
Beloved of each other
And the devine heartbeat of the universe.
We dance because we can
And in dancing we are one.

My All.

Melting,
I fade into silence.
You ask more of me
Than I can give.
Shattered,
I fade into the background,
A ghostly image superimposed on your life.
Why won't you let me rest in peace?
Perfection I always have to find for you.
But I'm dying,
Fading,
So slowly that even I don't realise how little is left.

Ask what you will of me,
But realize this:
I have already given you all that I can.
I'm drying up
Because you sap my strength.
Don't you realize I'm giving my all?
To you,
To them,
To the million other leaches
That demand a peice of me.
I can do no more,
Give no more,
For I have given you my all.

Broken heart.

I am given,
Spent.
You have taken all of me.
I wanted you,
Needed you
And in all of that,
I became nothing.
My broken heart
Lies bleeding at your feet,
Pulsing into the ether.
I trusted you,
Asked nothing of you,
Yet you took my all.
Your hands are stained bright
By my viscera.
You have my broken heart.

Living.

Your dead eyes stare at me silently
From living flesh.
You choose not to see anymore.
Heartsick,
Heart broken,
Life disapears in smoke.
Pale white
You endure the sun,
And wait for the day to end.
You are plunged in to a sea of enternal darkness.
Alone,
You welcome the night.

Vampyres.

We take
And we are taken,
We loose
And we win,
We are one in forever,
We are lost in our sin.
We are faithless,
And fateless,
Old
And young,
We are a love song's begining
And an old song already sung.
We are Vampyres
And mythos,
A story that is told.
We are the best of everything,
The beautiful and the bold.
We create life,
And we take it,
A people with out care.
We are history,
And we make it.
Gone,
But still there.

The Voice of youth.

For all thoes who know they CAN change the world. Keep shouting, keep making a noise, don't take no for an answer.

The voice of youth
Shouting angrily in the dark,
May you light a hundred thousand fires
From your tiny spark.
May you unite
A hundred thousand voices
Closeted in the night,
And may you bring a hundred thousand people
To the joys of light.
May you never loose your passion,
To your cause faithfull be.
May your message live forever,
And forever live in me.

D.O.A

I was D.O.A
Before I'd even set foot in this world.
I try to be happy,
Try to carry on
But life still gets in the way.
I know I no longer know.
I was born dead,
Souless,
Brainless,
Happy.
No one asked me if it was okay,
I had the world thrust upon me.
I want to get off this roller coaster,
Cease and desist.
I want to scream at you
For birthing me.
Why did you ever give me this life?
What did i ever do to you?
Why did you hate me so much?
You should have left me D.O.A.

Icarus Surendered.

i dreamed of touching the sun,
Of flying higher than I could,
Of being more that I ever could be.
But reality has shattered those dream.
My wings lie floating
On a dead sea,
A sea filled with the misery of broken dreams.
Ghostly faces
stare a mute challenge
From the back of my mind.
I have never flown,
I have surendered my need.
My life is useless.

What do you see?

What do you see when you look at me?
A face?
A body?
A soul?
Someone whoes life is full?
What do I see when I look at me?
A heart beating
In the void.
I am filled with longing,
An exquisit pain,
A need to belong.
You give
And take away what you have given
And leave me confused.
Punishment,
Abandonment.
Love is never enough,
I'm not good enough
And never will be.
Your unconditional love
Has conditions.

Unrequited Love.

for A.S because in loving you I know the exquisit pain of the truest love.

I would have bled the ground red for you,
If you had but let me.
I would have given you the universe.
I would have loved you beyond all things
And adored you forever.
But you didn't see me,
Your eyes were for another,
So my soul dances alone
In the memory of you.

My Lover.

For P.T who taught me an important lesson about life and playing "The" game.

Tainted by you,
Your dirty fingers grind salt into my wounds.
Bleeding i lie before you,
Used,
Exposed,
Shamed.
I give you my all,
And you slice into the very heart of me,
Ripping me to shreds.
Life is a game,
It's that simple.
But life is rarely pure
And never simple.
I used you to fill a hole,
You filled me
And then left.
I would have done anything,
Been anything,
For you.
But you took what you wanted.
The rest
is silence.

Death.

Bound in a grave
Cold as night,
I lie ready for the resurection.
My life is gone but still I feel.
Death is but rest for the soul,
Sleep in the deep, still silence.
I welcomed Death,
In her black chariot.
She took me in her arms
As gently as a lover
And swept me off my feet.
I did not fear my lover's embrace
And niether did I fear Death's
For sh is the sweet release from the pain of living.
She is the lull,
The quiet after the storm,
She is gentle,
She is violent.
She is man,
She is woman
And she is child.
She is mother,
Father,
Brother,
Sister,
Daughter,
Lover
And all things.
She is life's end
And it's begining,
Creating all things out of beauty.

Poetry.

The words come easily,
Worlds flow from the end of my pen,
My life is given meaning.
I reach out
From the void
And shout aloud to the whole world.
I become master of all,
Jack of none,
I make you sit up and take notice.
I maybe nothing in the flesh,
invisible,
Disposable,
But when I am comited,
To life,
To paper,
I make you see me.
Nothing can silence the words
That fall like shooting stars,
Slivers of heaven
Thrown to earth.
You might be able to ignore me when I speak,
But when I write
You will all hear my words.

Lionheart

For S.A.L who has taught me that love comes in many guises and that true love doesn't die, it just changes shape.

My lionheart,
My love,
My strength,
My passion.
You centre me,
You have shown me someone worth loving.
You heart beats so strong,
You are my valliant,
You are my protector.
Your love fires me,
Inspires me
And it is to you I turn
When my world is broken.
Your gentle hands
Pick up this battered,
Shattered soul
And lift me high above tomorrows.
I want to dance with you forever
And in forever findmy rest.
When I am with you
I know the truest peace of all,
I am loved
totaly and without restraint,
By you,
My lionheart.

Icarus wings.

I am beyond words,
I am flying with Icarus wings.
You are the sun
That lifts me higher and higher,
Only to be burnt with the depths of my passion.
You are a danger,
Flashing red.
You are a sickness I cannot shift.
Your memory clings to me
Like a drowning lover on the rocks
And I need you.
You feed my passion,
And my longing.
You are the sweet yearning that feeds my muse.
You fill my imagination
And make me whole.
I know life through you
And love you for your freedom.
In being
You allow me to be.
Pure heart
May you beat forever
And in forever find your comfort.

Beauty.

Beauty is my muse
And my mistress.
She touches me with her long, slender fingers,
Entwines her memory round my heart.
I have yearned for her a long time,
Found and lost her
Before I even knew she was here.
She has loved me long
And has stayed near,
Although darkness
And the night
Has obscured her from me.
She is my true vision
and my heart,
Forever and for all time.
She is the golden truth,
The unchangeable.
She is my immortal rock of ages.

Footprints in the sand.

I have an imprint of you on my soul
As the sand holds footprints.
I have meshed my life to yours
For you allow me to be.
I am alive
With an inner strength,
A truth beyond all reason.
You have made me whole.
In your kindness,
And giving
And lust for life
You have given me hope.
In life enternal,
In death unchanging,
In chalenges
And realisations,
You have given me foundation.
I am known,
And made known,
By you.

My husband.

Torn,
Bruised,
Battered,
I lay at YOUR feet.
You have my blood on YOUR hands.
I bow in pathetic suplication before your cruelty
And beg simply to be loved.
I know you for the coward you are
But in your cowardice I love you.
You were also broken n the rock of the world,
An Icarus to your dreams.
You have laid so much of yourself
On the bitter ashes
At the alter of life.
You are a burnt sacrifice,
For dead gods to consume.
Now I am the sacrifice,
To your biterness and rage.
With you I am broken,
With out you I am lost.

Golden wings.

For A.R who has taught me in two short meetings that there
ARE true kindreds out there and that life is a gift.

You fly on golden wings
High above my dreams
Will you take me with you?
Your spirit is free
And lives day to day in the moment,
Will you teach me how?
I long to know you,
Yearn for the freedom you bring.
For you life is a dance,
A song,
A tribute ready to be given.
You do not know me
But you cut to the very heart of me.
Words need not be spoken,
You are as you are
And you infect me with your passion,
Let me grown golden wings and fly with you
High above the earth.

The wind also dances.

The wind also dances,
Unbridled in its freedom.
Zephyr blows the coulds across the sky
And you have touched the sun.
You kissed the moon,
Made love to the cold mantel of night
And lived the fulness of life.
You have given
And taken,
You have lost
And won
Yet you play the game
By your own rules.
Peter Pan
You dance in rythem
With the heartbeat of the universe,
Step up,
Stay true.
The wind also dances

For You.

I want to dance in the sunlight,
Sing in the rain,
I want to be
In your arms again.
I want to know the pleasure
Of sweet mountain air,
I want the feeling
Of your fingers through my hair.
I want to taste you,
To be your all in all,
I want to be there
To catch you as you fall.
I want to be there
To dance on a comet's tail,
I want to be your everything
And in that never fail.
I want to be your begining,
Your middle
And your end.
Eternaly yours,
As a lover and a friend.